Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Sociopaths on campus

There is a great streak of violence in every human being.  If it is not channeled and understood, it will break out in war or in madness. 
 ~Sam Peckinpah
A Sociopath (Psychopath, Antisocial Personality Disorder) is defined as, “A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others and inability or unwillingness to conform to what are considered to be the norms of society.” (Long, 2005)  There are 7 characteristics, only three of which, are needed to be defined as a clinical sociopath.  Those include:
1. Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest.
2. Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure.
3. Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead.
4. Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults.
5. Reckless disregard for safety of self or others.
6. Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations.
7. Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another person.
The list of African American athletes on this campus who appear to meet these characteristics seem to be as lengthy as the school’s roster. However, the fault of this fa├žade lies not within this specific student demographic, but in UConn’s athletic administration, staff, coaches, and the general school community.  These types of behaviors are allowed to be exhibited until the point of embarrassment; when the brunt of the fallout rests solely upon the student athlete.  The sociopath associated behaviors are ignored on a daily basis, and even rewarded when displayed in settings beneficial to the school. Social supports are not set up, school related activities that a normal freshman would attend to gain community adhesion are not attended by said athletes, and normal societal expectations that are placed on every other student are abandoned.  All the while, reckless behaviors are suppressed by continual practices, lengthy workouts, and violent characteristics are rewarded through the guise of sportsman-like competition.  Whether it is known or not, this school is breeding sociopaths. 
A Sociopath, also known as Antisocial Personality Disorder, is a documented personality disorder treatable with individual or group psychotherapy or individual cognitive behavioral therapy.   Antisocial personality disorder is one of the most difficult personality disorders to treat. Individuals rarely seek treatment on their own and may only initiate therapy when mandated by a court. The efficacy of treatment for antisocial personality disorder is largely unknown.”  (Ballas, 2006)  Rather than setting up a group of people to fail when exposed to traditional cultural situations, this community should practice preventative techniques in this unaddressed mental health arena.
A qualitative research study was conducted in this exact area.  Examining Productive Conceptions of Masculinities: Lessons Learned from Academically Driven African American Male Student-Athletes, examined high achieving, African American, Division I athletic team members in Caucasian schools.  The study revealed that high achieving African American athletes had masculine definitions that differed from traditional associations of masculinity.   These participants associated masculinity with having strong, upstanding, and moral character. Moreover, they equated masculinity with having integrity and the courage ‘to do what is right.’” (Martin & Harris, 2006) The article identified the administrator’s coaches and faculty as the persons responsible for collaborating with each other, to not only win on the field, but to remember that these young men are students first.  The identity and development of these young men need to be discovered with the help of their faculty.  “This effort will only be successful if institutional leaders are willing to learn more about the student athlete experience and recognize the effects of policies and procedures developed for this group.”  (Martin & Harris, 2006)  Expectations of the students behavior needs to be stated upfront and foremost.  Ways of expressing masculinity beyond the traditional “money and power” mode needs to be explored by the coaches, so they can express these ideas to their athletes.  “Furthermore, coaches could collaborate with university offices that are equipped to address issues of male gender identity such as student affairs and counseling services.” (Martin & Harris, 2006)  The article also proposed that, “Identifying African American male leaders, introducing student athletes to African American faculty members, and encouraging student-athletes to live in African American-centered residence halls are all possible ways to socialize African American male student-athletes to campus.” 
With Virginia Tech fresh on the country’s memory, this community needs to take a stand for what behaviors will and will not be allowed on this campus.  Moreover, the fault of said behaviors need not be placed squarely on the dejected and neglected young men fresh from high school.  The fault of these repugnant behaviors needs to be placed on the school and the community.  New ways of serving and protecting this underserved population need to be explored and implemented.  Standing idly by as another arrest happens on this campus is no longer excused by blaming others.  UConn needs to be responsible, and re-examine its policy in dealing with athletes on this campus.  One or two sociopaths on the team are an anomaly.  Continual sociopath characteristics exhibited by more than one athlete, year after year, unfortunately speaks to the administration and direction of UConn athletics as a whole.
Ballas, Paul (2006, November 15). Antisocial personality disorder. Retrieved April 27, 2007, from Medline Plus Web site:http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000921.htm
Long, P.W. (2005). Antisocial personality disorder: American definition. Retrieved April 27, 2007, from Internet Mental Health Web site:http://www.mentalhealth.com/dis1/p21-pe04.html
MartinM.E., & Harris, F. (2006). Examining productive conceptions of masculinities: Lessons learned from academically driven african american male student-athletes. The Journal of Men's StudiesVol. 14, No. 3, 359-378.

Monday, October 19, 2009

dancing = gay

Imma try not to curse but I'm that upset.

SO I tell this MOTHA F***A that I want to start my son in dance classes because he needs the discipline, and all my dad can focus on is the fact that if he does he might turn out to be gay?!

MOTHA F***A!!!!!!!

My son has already stabbed someone at school and according to the principle had "no remorse."  He doesn't listen, wont sit still, always moving, acts terrible in school.  Add on top of that I share custody with a drug abusing ghetto crappy apartment living no job having, I like my life and wont change it b***h of a father who tells my son he will beat him within an inch of his life if he doesn't fight and if he cries!

My dad is always gone, always on some trip and planning on permanently moving as soon as summer of 2010, and now he's so worried about my son being gay with his gay ppl in church having behind that he's like threatening that he doesn't want to hear about it and isn't ok with it.

F**K him!  F**K HIM!  WHO GIVES A F**K if he ends up being gay as long as he stops F**King STABBING people at school, and doesn't end up selling drugs on the corner with his dad.  He tried to tell me that if I put him in dance, not only will he be a drug dealer and end up in jail still but he'll also be f**King everyone in the jail.


Does he really believe that?  Is this life?  So now the discipline I think dancing could offer my son, he can't have because my dad wants to be pissy?!  F**K him!  I don't need him.  WHen he leaves, F**K him!  He's such a jerk and he's always been a jerk and all this is his fault in the first place, cuz he's the one that started the whole you can't keep a kid away from his father, and now my son is sleeping on bare wood roach infested floors of his dads apt with drugs and everything, cuz I couldn't keep him away from his dad, when I could have and should have!

Not that it didn't cross my mind.  Yes for a second I thought, geez there's an awful lot of gay men in dancing, but I felt that the benefits way outweighed the negatives.  And the risk benefit ratio is better.  SERIAL KILLER vs. GAY, DRUG DEALER vs. GAY NORMAL CITIZEN OF SOCIETY

I'm not like pro gay, I just don't think of myself as dumb.  No offense to anyone but I don't want my son to be gay.  But I'm not at the point where I won't take a chance to improve him just to prevent the POSSIBILITY of gayness.

Like his dad wouldn't beat the crap out of him if he ended up being that way anyways.



sorry to vent but


Friday, October 16, 2009

Retightening 14 months

so it's 14 months and I'm like so happy!  Really I am.  The locks are thinning out and taking shape.  They're taking a good shape.  Most of the extensions I cut out with the exception of about an inch around the ears and stuff where I thought it was just TOO short!  ugg.

Went to talk to an airforce recruiter yesterday.  I asked him specifically about my hair and if it would be a problem if I joined.  I don't even think he realized it was dreaded cuz all he said was, "well I'd go with a natural color if I were you." lolol.  I didn't really feel like pointing it out...

Even though I cut it I can definitely see the growth and maturation of the locks.  Seems like when I cut the dreds they may not have been mature enough to have been cut.  Nothing crazy but it seems like they're unraveling about 1/4 of the way up.  Nothing crazy noticible, but when I do I hair I noticed. it.  They unraveled a tad and then seemed to swell and knotted.  90% of the dred stayed intact.  It was just interesting to note that!

I didn't use the hair pin tool today I used the latch hook.  It does catch quite a few other locks, but on the other hand it was definitely quicker this time around.  It still took me about 3 days, but I only spend an hour to an hour and a half every day on it.  So I'm still around 3 hours.  However I do watch a lot of TV in the mean time.

As for the extensions.  I figured out to make dern good ones, and I sewed them in.  Here's what I think after a couple of washings.  The synthetic looks less like my grade of hair however it holds its shape very very well.  How you finish it is for the most part how it stays.  The Natural hair looks just like mine, HOWEVER I cannot get the extension locks quite as small as my locks.  So I see why people say it's impossible to do sisterlock extensions.  I don't have sisterlocks but I have over 400 locks in my head and it's definitely hard to match the size!  Then again, I'm not at all professional.

In consideration of joining the airforce, I def will be keeping these forever!  For the ease of care.  I cannot be in bootcamp getting rained on and all that drama in the dirt with a perm.  LOL at the thought!


Monday, October 12, 2009

extensions, buns, and the airforce

So I was so unhappy with my length that I added extentions.  But then I cut those as well.  LOL.  My hair after the extensions is pretty much the same length!  What was I thinking!  I also trimmed my locks.  I'm not sure if that was a good think.  I like it.  I like the "groomed" look.  However some say that it makes your locks weak.  UGH.  So there's a picture there where I have my hair in a bun.  I used a hair net (like a cafeteria lady would wear) to make the bun look extra neat.  I think it does somewhat.  

Here's the deal.  I'm thinking of joining the airforce.  I know they don't allow dreds, but they might allow me to sneak by as long as I can put my hair in a low ponytail-ugh.  I'm not quite there yet.

I really will not join thought if they say I have to cut them.  I love my dreds. I signed a petition that stated that congress is wrong for not allowing dreds.  It's a fair way of doing nappy hair.  I don't think white people really know that our hair comes out of our head nappy.  I mean if I get deployed, how in the heck will I get a perm?  I don't know why this is a rule.  ugggg.

Ok so that is basically all that I have done for the day.  


Thursday, October 1, 2009


y did I cut my hair?  OHHHH.... Never again!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Random stuff I've learned doing my own hair!

  • NEVER use a curling iron.  Apparently you can burn you hair, and it will not retain it's natural curl that makes it coil, and I imagine it would stink!  lol.
  • When you interlock your hair there are several rotations.  Lets pretend spot 1 is the ceiling, 2 is the left 3 is the floor, and 4 is the right, there are several patterns you can use:  4,3,2,1 rotation, 1,2,3,4 rotation, 2,1,2,4 rotation.... those are the only ones I know of.  Originally I used a 4, 1, 2, 3 rotation.  I switched to a 2,1,2,4 because I thought my hair would stop slipping out of the lock and it slipped more!  It also was so tight it looked knotted, so I'm back to 4,1,2,3 because it looks more ropish.  I guess every one's hair is different so you just have to see which rotation works for you.  There are several ways you can do these rotations.  You can use a latch hook that you can buy from an arts and crafts store for a few bucks.  With the latch hook you have to take the latch stick it in the new growth through the dred.  Put the dred lock into the latch, close the "latch door" over the dred so it is hooked in it and pull it out back the way you came.  I like to go  for  spot 4(floor) I like to go in from the bottom of the nape of the neck and stick it through to the ceiling grab the dred and pull it back through towards the floor (hence the name floor) it's really complicated to explain but if you go on youtube and look it up you will find video directions that will explain it better.
  • ALWAYS ALWAYS end the dred at the same spot.  If you forget and during the next retightening start at a weird spot your dred will look messed up, it will not have a ropelike dred, it will be more lumpy.  The rotation of the lock should go 4,3,2,1,4,3,2,1,4,3,2,1 consistently, if you stop and start at all kinds of places the dred rotation may look like this 4,3,2,3,2,1,4,4,3,2,1 so you can imagine why it will be lumpy.  But hey a lumpy dred isn't the end of the world.
  • OH I also use a second tool for my edges and really really small dreds.  I simply take a hair pin, the thin ones, not a bobby pin, it's much thicher and harder to manipulate.  i take a hair pin, open it a bit round the beginning then twist the ends together, so it looks like a large needle.  I never bought a nappylocks tool, but in the end it kind of looks like that, and I also find that hair pins are easier to replace.  you can retwist your dreds any time anywhere with that tool! and it's cheap.
  • Curling your hair OH what a journey.  I curl mine dry.  If I wet it, it does NOT dry.  EVER.  I do have a lot of hair though.  I roll it dry with perming rods.  Sometimes I use foam curlers to get a tighter curl, I also realized the other day that the old timers method of taking strips of cloth or strips of an old paper bag work as well.  However the curl is a little more wild and unpredictable.  But it does the job, EXTREMELY cheap.
  • Shirley temple curls!!!! YAAA I figured it out from youtube, thanks youtube!  Pipe cleaners.  Yea Pipe cleaners here's a pic.  I bought them in dark brown the color of my hair, but they have them in black as well.  Take those and wrap your hair around them in a tight spiral kind of way.  You can take the ends and bend them or whatever.  If you have really long locks you can leave them in and let your hair look shorter, for us with short hair, I'd take them out before work.  With these you'll get that tight shirley temple look everyone raves about and pays so much for!
  • Apparently you have to go to professional for a dying job because there is a possibility the dye can get stuck INSIDE the lock!  I didn't know that.  I would still did it myself though, but let me tell you, it was NO fun!  Color EVERYWHERE, and not to mention apparently different grades of hair dye at different rates!  YEA!  So while my hair turned dark brown, my softer edges turned BLOND!  YES marilyn monroe BLOND!  Luckily my mom had some black hair dye around that I used to turn my edges back to normal, but it was no fun, and because of that, I don't reccomend DIY for bleaching.....
  • Some people don't put little combs with the jewels on the end in their hair, because they state it will rip the hair apart and weaken the dred.  I used them all the time, but as my locks have matured the hair pin wont really go through the dred, so I stopped using them anyways.
  • When washing, there is no need for vigorous scrubbing of the actual dred.  I've learned that you're supposed to squeeze with the purpose of trying to get the soap through the whole lock and get the nasty stuff out of the middle.  You're really only supposed to scrub your scalp.  I didn't know, and entire locks were coming out all the time.  SMH.
  • When curling your hair sometimes you don't want curls all the way to the forehead sometimes you only want curls at the ends, the best way to do that is to put a headband on and scoot it back on the head a little bit a curl it up to the headband.  That way the lock doesn't curl all the way to the head, only to the head band.  That's better for people who don't like curls all the way to the top.
Ok if I think of anything else, I'll post it.  ok later.


My fault, My bad!

I really should have updated but I didn't.

I'm sorry.


I thought I would never make it, uggg.

Ok! So, SO many things have happened.  I got a new job, quit it, got another one quit that one too!  now I'm jobless.  

In the realm of hair, it grew and grew and grew...

I went on a helicopter ride this month, and had my locs.  I was happy I chose to interlock cuz if I had traditional dreds, I don't think the helmets and stuff would have fit on my head!  Another funny, is that I was riding along with these white ladies and when they took off their helmet their hair was SOO gross!  ugh, it stuck to their forehead and was wet and sweaty... a MESS!  I was so happy thinking, huh, I don't have that problem!

But I do have some other problems I will share with you..... let's update, so I think I stopped at 6 months...

I think these were around 8 or 9 months... I took them in my kitchen.

And this is the picture that I fondly remember thinking that I was soo cute.  It was 10 months I think.

Now at this point underneath, I'm just posing to show the length

And no one has told me how to do most stuff, some stuff that I don't even think should be a secret, or something sellable but it is!!! and that is ridiculious!!!

I took this picture at almost exactly a year. I remember looking at this picture, and loving the length but hating the style. I looked at it and the ends looked so messy and unkempt, and I couldn't just wash and go. It was so messy looking I had to pull it back or up just to go out, and I hated that, and I hated the lumps, and I'm not talking about the buggies at the end of your hair I'm talking about big knots that I had developed at the ends because of stuff that I had done wrong, it was just not cute...

SOOOO! I cut it. I'm not really sure how I feel about it, the edges are soo sooooo short, but one thing is for sure. I can now get up and just walk out the door. I cut off at least half of the knots!!!

The problem is that most people say that you shouldn't "groom" or cut or trim your locks for like 2 years, but I just couldn't do it anymore, if they mess up, they mess up. I didn't pay for this so this is a learn as I go situation. Hopefully it'll all be posted up here so everyone else doesn't have to go through the same drama... Another picture of the cut.

So right now that's where I am, I really REALLY miss the length! I really hate it this short, but I don't miss the messiness or the bumps!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

finally I can start blogging on my hair!

So I've got braidloczs.  People aske me if they're sisterlocks, and I always say no, this is DIY found on the internet hair.  

I've always been natural.  I've never been a fan of perms for many many reasons....
I'd been natural for about 4 years when I saw a website on sisterlocks.  I thought they were the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.  I said what is that?!  I MUST have those....

I contacted a few people and realized for the length of my hair it would cost me upwards of $600!!!!  *OUCH!*

I was in college, with no loans, working part time to keep my child in private school, and I just said when I get out, I'll get it done.  so 2 years went by.  I got married.  I moved to arizona, where there was like 3 locticians in pheonix and I lived 15 minutes from the border....

I was bummed maintaining twists by myself trying to figure out what to do when.... (drumroll please) my husband told me that he had been cheating on me for a month and he was leaving me for her and he wished me luck with everything but it was over...


Needless to say in a rage I tossed the house, took his car and a bag of carrots and some peanut butter crackers and his car and proceeded to drive home.  From Arizona to Connecticut.... LOL.

I only made it to Oklahoma city.... lol.  Lets not even talk about how my twists looked at that moment....

I got home and was depressed, sad, and my hair looked like medusa on drugs.  In a waiting to exhale moment, I said I'm getting those dreds, but I'm doing them myself cuz I want them NOW!

So got on the internet and purchased the book on braidlocz and sat down for 3 days straight and braided my hair into itty bitty braids.  They came out like this and this was the first smile I had seen on my face in months...

So this was month 1.  Now it's different with braidloczs they're not dreds they're just braids so they shrink and puff up which I learned the hard way, so a lot of the length I had went away as the dreading process began.

you can see the difference in length here!^

Now as month 4 started to roll around I was able to do more things like curl them and not just braid them out for that crinkled look.  And they were beginning to dred, but only a little here

Here is month 6 you can see they're looking cleaner and more dreded, but honestly they're still not totally dreded!!!! I can tell because when I pull them they get longer and when I let go they shrink back like a spring.  I have little patience and want them to dred now and stop shrinking.  But these are braidlocks and not sisterlocks so it's gonna take a little more patience for these to dred up... but hey!  They were totally FREE!

So now I'm thinking that I need to start trimming the ends and I'm contiplating dying with hydrogen peroxide.  I'm a little nervous because people say that it's damaging and drying to your hair, however there are some out there that say dry hair makes it easier for the dreds to lock, so I'm still up in the air about it.  And on many websites it says as long as you condition it well, the peroxide should not have adverse effects.  I will try it and see what happens. 

I can always use lemon Juice... lol